I realized, long ago, it’s much more productive using life's trials to my advantage. Whether it’s looking for the lessons learned, having an inherent skill in detecting similar characteristics in people, or using those experiences to support others. And let me tell you...I've gone through some 'refining fires.'
I have learned trying to exert a genuinely meek spirit evokes a greater self-empowerment. That doesn’t mean to pretend certain things never occurred. Sharing that information could actually assist with recovering. To address the things, as though you have an axe to grind, would not necessarily be considered a positive outlet. Your motives in sharing your story should not be destructive. That doesn’t mean you won’t feel saddened or angry. I think it's important to remember where you came from...to be true to thineself.
You also need to be familiar with recognizing the differences between silence being more powerful than the gift of speech, and when silence can empower the victimizer(s).
When you're trying to heal, it's important to be aware that what comes out of the mouth is an indication of what is in the heart...and actions do speak louder than words...and you don't want your actions to be self-destructive.
I have also learned the greatest benefits come when I’ve tried to find the joy from each trial. That may sound twisted, but most experiences can be used as either a stumbling block or a stepping stool. To allow yourself to stumble is not only contributing to further crippling of yourself, you are enabling and perpetuating what you are trying to free yourself from...whether it's feeding a fear...or giving the victimizer(s) power. It would be a shame to think you went through all of that turmoil in vain. Finding joy can merely mean, you are thankful you are finding peace within yourself, that you are a stronger person, or that you are happy you are no longer in that situation.
I have learned that no matter where you are in life's journey, living by love is one of the secrets to finding the joy.